A Happy Relationship?

Being in a relationship is all very new for me. I think if you truly want to be and stay with someone then you will. It's taken me nineteen years to be in a serious relationship. Like anyone growing up there are obviously going to be flings - but these never felt right. Just from my experience I never truly felt that the people I was seeing at the time actually liked me at the time, and the difference between then and now is that I never felt I could be my true self. I suppose if you feel like that you're not with the right person. My experience of "being with" a person has had its fair shares of ups and downs. There's been cases where it just didn't feel right being with them, I wasn't happy or I just couldn't see it lasting. I mean these were very short "flings" if you will - it was never serious and it's all a part of growing up. The worse possible case, and I'm sure it has happened to the best of us, is being led on. I don't and never will understand that if you don't want to be with someone then why would you say misleading comments to them such as "I can see myself with you" if you really don't want anything serious to happen? I don't know if that's immaturity, and by that I am not saying that all males are. Anyone who has experienced that will understand, that by saying that, it's like a form of attachment - you immediately feel hooked to them? I'm very happy to say that I won't be fooling for that one again.

I am sure anyone will understand that when I say "you need to work at a relationship". At the end of the day all it comes down to is that you do! My boyfriend and I were having the discussion the other day that once the "honeymoon" phase is over, why should you stop putting effort into it? If you're just going to do that then simply what is the point? It's a very nice feeling to know that you are loved and cared for by someone and by upholding this effort you won't feel like the relationship is "slacking" or potentially missing something that was once there. I don't think there is such a thing as the "perfect relationship", because everyone understandably has their own personal problems and ups and downs. It's the support that is key when situations like this arise. It is important, in my opinion, to remember that every relationship is different. You should do what works for you and no one should judge that. Do what is right for you as a couple - I wouldn't say try to be like another couple. We have figured lately our thing is to be honest. Sometimes there are moments when you do feel sad or a little down and we can't help it, but we have the tendency to bottle things up and then the problems build up out of nothing. This just works for us and we are so new to this relationship, we have to just do it our own way.

I remember getting into the relationship - you could say we weren't really in any rush. I remember meeting Lewis in September and it was a funny experience. I just knew him as the Plymouth Argyle fan, the same team that my Grandad supports coincidentally. The first conversation was in a circle full of our journalism classmates, where I went up to him and said "you support Argyle don't you?". That was the end of the conversation for the next few months - I guess we were so nervous to talk to each other that we didn't have the courage to. The messaging began in late October, however, we didn't get round to meeting properly until late January/early February! Looking back at it we were talking over message for a VERY long time! But I'm a believer in everything happens for a reason. If we had rushed it, would we be in the same position that we are in now? We're in an incredibly happy relationship, constantly supporting each other through the mediums of our work; mine being writing and Lewis focusing on the sports side. We're both proud of each other, and always will be.

You just got to work at what's makes you happy. Being apart from family, Lewis is my safety blanket - he's always there whenever I need him, and vice versa.

That's just a short insight to my love life...

EJ x

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